Feeling Inside

In the recent days that pass by,
I find myself asking the question why,
I feel bothered and disturbed by the thoughts in my head,
I lie awake in my bed

There were so many things that I know was wrong
In the life I chose to live now the lies are strong
I sometimes ask myself how I could manage these all along
The time I spent in this bubble has been too long

Would I ever love the same way as before
To trust, to be honest, to be who I am once more
Will I ever be free from this dark cloud of mine?
Or will I be stuck in it forever in time

There’s a feeling inside me of guilt and shame
For I made fun of somebody’s love and treated it as a game
Will he forgive me and accept me for what I am if he knows the truth
Or will it be drained in loot

Hatred and anger is all that I sense
To the person who treated my life hence
Will this life go to waste if the lies had stop
Or would it go still like the heavy dust in an antique shop