Unworthy Even in Death

I am unworthy in death
Shame lurked in depth
I am sick to my stomach
I want to kill myself here and now
But my mind says no because then even in death I have shamed myself
There was never right in anything that I did
It is an amazement that I am still here
Should I end this tonight?
Kill myself and end this worthless battle of life
It doesn’t matter where my soul would end up
For all I know is I am incarcerated in this hell that exist in my world
I am giving up and lower down in shame
For my only friend crippled me lame
A stab through the heart would that even do
I am sick and tired this is true
With each step forward that I take
I drop hard backwards for every mistake